See, Hear, Feel, Do

I relearned something. I knew it a long time ago, but it got lost somewhere in the back of my brain. It’s called “See, Hear, Feel, Do.”

The Trigger

I read about a father who was giving advice to his three sons. To one son, he painted word pictures and used phrases like “let me show you.” To another son he told stories and used the phrase “hear my words.” And to the third son he gave advice and used words like “you’ll know in your heart.”

That’s when I remembered.

See, Hear, Feel, Do

Years ago, I taught in a vocational school. Part of my training was learning how students communicate and  learn.

  • There are visual learners, people who learn by seeing things done. They translate your words into mind pictures. They use phrases like “do you see what I mean?” “I see now.”
  • There are auditory learners, who learn by hearing descriptions and stories. Their motto is “are you listening to me?” “I hear you.”
  • There are people who connect emotionally with what you’re teaching by understanding how the things they do affect another person’s mood or feelings. Their motto is “do you understand?” “I feel you.”
  • Connecting these is kinesthetic learning. This is the movement/doing kind of learning.

Usually, people have a combination of learning and communication styles.

See, Hear, Feel, Do…All at once

Teaching a child to bake a cake is an example of using multiple learning  styles. Reading the recipe to the child. Explaining what the words mean. Showing how the various techniques are done. Then allowing the child to make the cake with your assistance.

The cake is served for dessert. The child feels pride in the accomplishment of successfully making and sharing a cake.

The more styles involved, the deeper the learning.

Why is SEE, HEAR, FEEL, DO important?

I’ve been struggling with the Grandson.  He’s 17-years-old. He’s a funny, aggravating, interesting, irritating, testosterone tornado.

He’s auditory/kinesthetic. I’m visual/kinesthetic.

When we discuss issues, I want to show him. I want him to see in his mind’s eye what I’m trying to say.

His frequent question to me is, “do you hear what I’m saying?” “Are you listening?” “You didn’t let me finish what I was trying to say.”

The quickest way to end a conversation with him is for me to raise my voice.

And yelling is the first thing he does if he thinks I’m not listening.

Speaking louder means being heard. However, yelling isn’t an effective form of communication for either one of us.

Speaking the Same Language

He needs to be heard!

I need to speak so he understands.

We both need bring the volume down.

Get Moving

We’ve talked about getting in better physical shape. He’s agreed to walk with me after dinner. While we’re walking, he can talk. I’ll ask questions and practice listening.

It’s important for him to know that I hear him.

See, Hear, Feel, Do

What’s your primary mode of learning? Do you know how your spouse, children, and friends communicate and learn?

Do you have any suggestions for me? I’m willing to hear what you have to say.



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